Shatavisa Majumder | 30 Oct, 2025
The panic about turning 30 didn’t start on my birthday. It began in my late 20s—creeping in quietly, then becoming loud in my 29th year.
Society has a way of making this age feel like a deadline. We grow up hearing that our 20s are for figuring things out, but by 30 we should have it all settled—career, relationship, savings, and health. Add social media into the mix, and it’s almost impossible not to compare.
I saw people my age buying houses and cars, completing doctorates, moving abroad, getting engaged or married, and having children. They were running marathons, cooking healthy meals, sticking to skincare routines, and hitting the gym regularly.
Meanwhile, I was working hard at my job and spending my free time resting. I wasn’t doing any of those “Instagram-worthy” things. As my 30th birthday approached, the pressure I felt from both society and the digital world made me believe I was lagging behind.
When Panic Turns into Impulsive Choices
That anxiety pushed me into some impulsive decisions. One of them was suddenly becoming hyper-aware of my lack of skincare. After hours of internet research, I bought multiple products, determined to start a strict routine.
My intention was good—I wanted to take care of myself—but instead, those products damaged my skin. I ended up spending months, and a lot of money, on treatments to heal the harm. It felt like I had taken one step toward “wellness” and fallen right into “illness” instead.
This is the thing about panic: it can make you rush into choices without thinking about whether they truly fit your life or values. And I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Many people about to turn 30 question their decisions, compare themselves to others, and feel regret for not making the “right” choices at the “right” time.
From the Ladder to the Map
Society teaches us to see life as a ladder—some people ahead, others behind. But if we imagine life as a map instead, the pressure changes.
On a map, people can be in entirely different locations at the same moment. One isn’t better or worse—just different. Your position depends on your personal values and how your goals align with them.
When I realized this, I began to ask myself, "Do I actually want what other people have, or am I chasing it because I feel I should?"
Finding My Values
The turning point came when I started clarifying what I truly value. I realized that skincare trends or gym check-ins weren’t what I cared about most. My values were connection, exploration, and learning.
So instead of trying to match others, I began choosing actions that aligned with those values. I spent time with close friends and with my pets and started traveling—including solo backpacking trips I’d been scared to try.
I also started journaling. Writing down my thoughts and asking myself honest questions helped me dig beneath the surface. Journaling gave me a safe space to explore what I actually wanted, not what I thought I was supposed to want. Over time, my journals became a mirror—showing me patterns, fears, and hidden desires I hadn’t noticed before. That self-exploration guided my decisions more than any advice from the outside world.
Mindfulness helped, too. Staying in the present moment shifted my focus from what I lacked to what I already had. I read books not because it was “cool,” but because they matched my value of lifelong learning. I stopped overloading my body with unnecessary products or treatments and stuck to simple health essentials like an annual check-up.
What I Learned About Society’s Timeline
This panic before 30 can push people into big impulsive decisions—buying property they can’t afford, saying yes to relationships too soon, rushing into marriage or business ventures without preparation.
One of the most damaging examples I’ve seen is people having children simply to “keep up” with peers or please family expectations—even when deep down, they wanted to be childfree. That choice can lead to deep regret and guilt later, not just because of the demands of parenting, but because the decision wasn’t rooted in personal readiness or desire. The worst part is realising you may not be able to give your child the presence and care they deserve because your heart was never in the choice. That’s why clarifying your own values before any major life decision is non-negotiable.
Life isn’t a race. You’re allowed to take your own path, even if it looks nothing like your peers.
I’ve learned that it’s better to:
- Marry later with the right person rather than rush into the wrong relationship.
- Take time to change careers or start a business rather than stay stuck in meaningless work.
- Choose to be childfree if that aligns with your values.
- Delay big purchases until you’re ready.
You’re allowed to write your own script instead of following the one handed to you by society.
After the Birthday
When my 30th birthday finally arrived, I celebrated with friends who reminded me it was just a number. And the next day, I felt exactly the same as before.
I realised all my panic had been for nothing. Life didn’t stop at 30. You can still find love, move abroad, get another degree, or start fresh in your own time. Healing doesn’t have a deadline, and growth has no age limit.
My advice? Learn to handle society’s pressure with a light heart. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Cut out those who make you doubt yourself. Keep doing the things that bring you into a state of flow—that feeling when you’re so absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time and everything else fades away. For me, that happens when I’m backpacking solo. For you, it could be painting, running, cooking, or playing an instrument.
Your 30s are not the end of possibilities—they’re just another part of your map. Walk it at your own pace.
